I’ve been the Maid of Honor for three weddings in the past three years. This past weekend made it my third time standing as the MOH. Ironically enough, those girls who were brides, will most likely be standing in my wedding. Bwahahaha. Being the Maid of Honor is not an easy task, but it’s not something that’s hard to do either. I’ve done it three times now, so I thought I’d pass on my wisdom for any other girls who are deemed this task to keep the bride from being a bridezilla on her wedding day.
1). Be there: If you commit to being in the wedding, be there. Don’t make up lame excuses weeks before the wedding, or worse, drop out of the wedding. People who know you, or don’t, will lose a lot of respect for you. That and it’s just plain rude.
2). Be timely: Don’t wait until a month before the wedding to get your dress. The sooner you can order it, the better. Yes, the fear of gaining weight or losing too much weight is there. However, when you give yourself enough time to see the dress after ordering it, you can figure out how much needs to be taken in or taken out. Keep going back to have it altered.
3). Along the dress lines, be comfortable: Don’t buy a dress that’s 2 sizes too small because the chances of you losing that much weight in 6 months time is slim to none. Buy the dress size they suggest. Go a size bigger if you need to. Rule of thumb: it’s easier to take in than let out. You want to be able to move in the dress and dance.
4). Shoes: Pick shoes you’re comfortable wearing throughout the day and night. You are standing in the wedding, so you need to have shoes you can stand in for up to an hour. You’ll need shoes you can move in comfortably since you may or may not be dancing in them during the wedding party dance. You’ll need to stand for pictures, too. Keep all these in mind when buying your shoes. Last note – make sure they match your dress! Get the “OK” from the bride before getting the shoes. If she’s not a total bridezilla, she’ll be cool with whatever you buy so long as it’s in the color theme.
5). Be involved in planning: You are the MOH. You are responsible for making sure the bride doesn’t lose her head while planning her big day. If she doesn’t have a wedding planner, you need to provide input, opinions, and honest answers if she asks for them. Work with the mother of the bride if she needs help making calls to halls, dress shops, caterers, etc.
6). Bridal shower: Plan on being there. You aren’t the most active member of the party (obviously), but you should be the person who notes down who gifted what so that the bride and groom can send thank you cards. You should also be helping the mothers of the bride and groom: escorting guests to their table, telling them where to be, helping with RSVPs if you need to. Stay there until the end. You may need to help put presents in the car, or host the games, etc. If you can, make the bouquet from ribbons and bows that she will use at her rehearsal.
7). Bachelorette party: Yes, they exist and yes, you should be the one planning it. You should plan it knowing that the bride and yourself are busy, so work with her. Pick a day that works for her and make sure it works for you. Get some invitations and make sure you receive a list from the bride of all the people she wants attending her soiree. Give people at least 5 weeks time to RSVP for her night out on the town. Usually, the bachelorette party should take place a month or so before her wedding.
8). Decorating the hall: If the bride and groom opted out of a planner, you’ll most likely need to be around to help decorate the hall and make it look great for the wedding. This usually takes place a day or two before the wedding. Get there when she needs you and don’t leave until it’s done! Remember, you have to sit in that hall too.
9). Rehearsal and rehearsal dinner: Dress accordingly for both. If the couple are getting married in a church, don’t dress inappropriately. Be respectful and do as you are told. Make sure you don’t forget her “bouquet” that you made from all the ribbons and bows from the bridal shower.
9). Day before the wedding: Plan on staying with her that night either at her mother’s house or in the same hotel where she’ll be getting ready on the day of her wedding. You need to make sure she gets any last-minute errands completed and help her relax! She’ll say she’s not a bundle of nerves, but she is ;-) It’s always nice to buy some soft slippers for her to wear during the reception after all the “dances”. She’ll be grateful she won’t need to wear the uncomfortable, yet super cute, shoes she’s been wearing all day.
10). Wedding day: Help her! Get her to the salon to get her hair done, and if you are getting yours done, do that as well. Help her get into her dress before you dress yourself. From what I’ve seen, wedding dresses are a trick to get into, so help her out first. Make sure she has her something new, borrowed, old and blue.
11). Toast: the hard part’s over. You’ve done your part and now it’s just time to relax and enjoy the party. You do have to give a toast though. My only words of advice are to keep it simple and say it from the heart. I haven’t ever written a speech down and I’ve basically winged it three times. But it’s easier for me to just say what’s on my mind about the happy couple, then to make a list of all the great things about each of them. Either way, you’re bound to see some tears, hear some laughter and handed some hugs.
It’s not rocket science when it comes to being part of a wedding. To put it simply: do what you’re told. The day isn’t about you, it’s about them. Anything you can do to make them feel more at ease or take the stress off them, the better. She asked you to be in her wedding because she loves you, trusts you and believes you are a great friend to her who will be there for her during this milestone in her life. So be there.
