Four years ago today, REB and I had our first date.
Well, at the time I didn’t think it was a date. I was delusional and jaded from past relationships that I didn’t consider any outing with a guy to be anything more than dinner with a friend.
But in any case, it was four years ago today that we had our first date.
It was four years and one week ago that we first met back up.
Met back up, you ask? Well, he and I went to high school together. Technically I’ve known him for almost 10 years, but we weren’t really friends in high school. I knew his brother first and really just knew OF REB. But more on that in a sec.
I’m on cloud nine. It seems so silly to commemorate or make a big deal out of something that happens to people every day. But for me, it is important. It’s important because four years ago, I didn’t know I’d end up dating this guy exclusively. I didn’t know I’d end up telling him I love him or that I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. I didn’t know that as it turns out, a guy I went to high school with, with whom I wasn’t really friends with, would end up being someone I plan on marrying.
If someone told me that I’d end up marrying someone I went to high school with, I’d have laughed in their face. Back then I was convinced that after high school, I was going to graduate from college, move to a big city and find Mr. Right in a city park. Terrible, isn’t it? Life doesn’t always end up how you think. In my case, it didn’t.
But I wouldn’t change anything about my life. I am the luckiest girl to have found a guy who means the world to me, loves me, supports me and makes everything in my life better.
And I went to high school with him.
When I meet people or re-meet people from high school or college, they almost always ask how REB and I came to be. I decided I’d write it all out and be completely honest. We always say there are two versions of this story – his and mine – but I’m not holding back. So here it is.
In high school, I was really awkward-looking. I gave the word “nerd” a whole new meaning. My glasses didn’t fit my face correctly and I didn’t know what tweezers were, my mouth was full of metal in an attempt to give me a dashing, straight smile (that took all four years of high school to achieve). My best friends were the band nerds I’d hang out with where I could be myself and not worry about anything else.
I’m still as big a nerd now as I was then, but my glasses are actually proportional to my face and I’ve learned how to tweeze – Hallelujah!
So, when I got to college, I may have looked kind of normal, but I still lived in the shadow of my roommate, who was adorable and knew it. Every guy knew it too. It did get to me always being referred to as “the hot girls roommate”. I had my emo moments, I realize this, but I’m also glad I got over it. It dawned on me that WHOA! School was most important and relationships could come after. “It’ll happen when it happens,” is what I’d always tell myself.
After I graduated I didn’t have a plan or a job lined up so I moved back home. Face it, the journalism industry is dying and it was starting to when I graduated. I mooched off my parents before landing a freelance job working for two local newspapers. It got me some great experience, but I obviously wasn’t working full time. When I wasn’t writing the police blotter (and hating the phrase “driving while intoxicated”) about how some hick in Lapeer crashed their tractor into a tree, or how some local kids were putting on a play, I was at the bar with one of my best friends, MD. I’ve known him since high school and he ended up going to the same college as me so we never lost touch.
We became regulars at a bar in our home town. Literally, everyone knew our name and our drink and we didn’t have to do a thing. MD introduced me to other people we went to high school with who also moved home, one of which I had never heard of, but became friends with quickly. Our nights typically revolved around $2 drafts, karaoke and general “chillaxing”. This went on for one or two months.
One of MD’s friends who would hang out with us, also happened to be REB’s neighbor. I won’t go into the details, but we found out something that made us want REB to come out and hang with us immediately. So we called him up and he agreed to come out for a beer. When I saw him, I remembered exactly who he was.
I only had one class with REB the entirety of high school. Well, technically it was two classes, but they were broken up into semesters and were the same class period, so it was basically like one class. I didn’t know much about him. I knew his older brother as I had met him first before meeting REB. I knew that he was a pretty studious kid, incredibly smart, was friends with a lot of the same people I was friends with. But other than that, I didn’t know a thing.
He was very nice to me straight off the bat and after we re-introduced ourselves and caught up on our lives, we all enjoyed a couple rounds before deciding to head to the bowling alley for more havoc. At the end of that night, I thought I’d probably never see REB again. I mean, sure we all knew each other and we all exchanged numbers, but I assumed we’d probably never cross paths again.
That was until he called me a week later.
REB: Hi Aparna
Me: Oh, hi REB, what’s up?
REB: Not much, I was just wondering if you were free next Thursday because I’d like to have dinner with you.
Me [completely delusional by the fact he just asked me out on a date]: Oh. Yeah, we can get some dinner. I’ll be at the university getting my dad’s mail for him. Want to just meet me some where?
[Let me interject and apologize to all of you. I realize this sounds horrible. I'm usually very good at knowing when guys ask me on a date, but clearly I wasn't thinking here and literally thought this was a 'hang-out-as-friends-dinner' thing. Sigh. I have a lot to learn]
REB: [a little pause] Oh. OK. I guess that works. Want to go to Outback Steakhouse? I have these gift cards my dad gave me…
Me: Sweet. That sounds good. Yeah, I can just meet you there then.
[OK. So now can you see why I didn't think it was a date? I guess my stupid, high-maintenance self didn't think a real date could come out of gift cards given by your dad. I think back to it now and realize what a complete idiot I was. The gesture was genuine, he was polite, he asked me out to dinner. I should have just knew that was a date. I know that NOW of course. OK continuing on...]
So we had settled on that and I was looking forward to having dinner with a friend and catching up again. Another reason I didn’t think it was a date? I would hang out with my friend MD all the time and get dinner with him, so I guess I assumed this dinner would be no different. I forgot to think of the one obvious thing: up until that night of bowling, the last time I had seen REB was 6 years prior to that night. Best friends, we were not (yet).
The night had come and I was at my dad’s office getting his mail for him (he travels overseas every summer) and being the punctual person I am, I met with REB at the restaurant. We ordered drinks, our food and talked. A lot. I had never had such great conversation with someone I had just met. Or re-met. It was great. I remember he looked great too. Looked a little on the dressy side, which at the time. I thought was weird, but again, my stupid-self didn’t realize this was a date.
So the dinner went well and after it was over, we said our good-byes and went to our separate cars. When I think back now, I wonder what he thought? This girl he had just asked out to dinner, met him some place, didn’t really hug him good bye and got into her own car to drive herself home. Again, I could probably kick myself in the butt for not realizing things sooner.
Most people assume that after that night, we became an item. But we didn’t. And it was mostly my fault for why that is. It would be almost another week or 2 weeks before I’d see REB again or talk to him again. And it would be another 9-10 months before he and I were exclusive.
But I’ll continue this saga in another post.
