If someone 10 years ago told me I’d end up marrying someone from my high school, I’d have laughed in their face. REB and I weren’t even really friends in high school. We had mutual friends and a mutual circle of friends, I knew he was a nice guy and not a douche like many of the people in my graduating class, but he and I weren’t actually friends at all. In fact, I had more classes with his brother than I had with him. I love how things ends up working out, though.
REB and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary tomorrow. Hard to believe it’s been 5 years. Like, no joke. It really is hard to believe! So on the eve of this blessed date, I thought back on the past five years married together!
1. Be Yourself. Be Weird.
I have seriously met my match in this department. I have been a weirdo my entire life – my sister can attest to this. And now REB can attest to it, too. I say a lot of weird things, I make up words and use them on a daily basis, have a dumb, weird shoulder dance I do, and I haven’t stopped making weird faces at cameras for photos. The fact that REB can put up with that and find it “endearing” is beyond me, but I appreciate it nonetheless. There was a night he and I were laying on the couch and I started bobbing my head forward and said “I’m a chicken”. Why? Who knows. He laughed though and knowing he can put up with my weird, random moments is a blessing to me. He has even told me he likes my weird. Things feel off we can’t kid around and laugh every day. Kindred spirit nerds. Don’t ever stop being weird around your loved ones. I know I’ll be 75 and still doing that weird shoulder dance around him if I can help it. Especially if my knees, hips and other joints allow for it.
2. Make Time For Each Other.
Easier said than done, right? I can’t stress how important this one particularly has been for us. We are on completely opposite schedules. He’s a night owl and I’m a morning/afternoon person. I work out right when I get home, he likes to decompress and work out later in the night, so often times we just do our own things for dinner. I go to bed earlier like a grandma, and he’ll stay up and come to bed later. I sometimes work longer hours and there are Saturdays that he has to work. It’s all mixed up, but one thing we absolutely try to do, is a date night once a week. Whether it’s dinner out, ordering in, watching something together, going outside for a walk with the dog, just sitting in bed talking, or even trying to go to bed at the same time. That last one sounds bad, doesn’t it? I used to get so mad he wouldn’t go to bed with me, and sometimes still do (I’m learning to let that little crap go, though), but quickly learning that if he at least comes up and sits with me and we talk about our days, it’s almost like a lullaby for me and I fall asleep. Seriously. Regardless, we make time for each other despite our busy schedules and “extracurricular activities”. This is also an excellent segue into the next point.
3. Let Go of the Small Crap.
I feel like this is a life lesson for everyone, no matter your marital status. I am still learning on this one and probably will continue to learn and iterate on it. (Oh God, I sound like my freaking scrum master now). I used to hold grudges over the dumbest, littlest things and in the grand scheme of things….none of that matters! If there is one rule we try to live by, it’s to not go to bed angry. It doesn’t always happen, which is not great, but we at least talk about it. Communication has become key. If I can’t talk to my spouse or anyone about what is bothering me and really talk it through, that’s no bueno. I know there are things that each of us do that the other finds irritating or whatever, but the point is, don’t sweat the little stuff. Life’s too short.
4. Personal Cheerleader.
Be each others cheerleader! REB is one of my biggest supporters. I don’t even know how to thank him for the support he’s shown me while we dated, while we lived together before marriage and now being married. When I decided to change jobs, he was gung-ho about it and told me I could do anything. When I said I wanted to start up a photography business he told me he was surprised it didn’t happen sooner. When I want to take little trips on my own without him to visit friends, he encourages me to do it so I don’t lose touch with the people in my life I don’t see as much. When I told him I wanted to throw down hundreds of dollars on a personal trainer, he told me he loved the way I looked and always has, but if I want to work on form and strength, I should do it. No matter what I want to do, he’s right there cheering me. I’m returning the favor too. When he told me wanted to maybe get his PhD I told him to do it. He’s one of the smartest people I’ve ever met and if there’s one person who can do it, it’s him! When he thought about switching jobs to one that would completely change our location and lifestyle, I told him do it! If it meant he’d be happy, I want to make sure he can do it all.
5. Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop the Love.
Who knows what the next five years holds, but I know the love won’t stop. We know that kids aren’t for us, so it’s just me and him for the long haul. I love that it’s just us, too. My mom once told me that I married a true gem of gems…and I used to think it was cheesy (because my mom is a super cute, traditional and superstitious Indian woman), but she’s right. He’s a gem and shines bright like a diamond and all that jazz. I’ve loved the adventures we’ve had so far, and can’t wait to see where we go next!